“I don’t want any competition; I’ve finally made it! I don’t want any young bucks knocking me off and taking my job, so stay in school! Stay in school and get a nice job working in an office!”
- I always wanted to be a stand-up comedian, even as a kid. Me and my dad would watch ‘Evening at the Improv’ on A&E.
- I did telemarketing for years, starting at the age of 16, just selling steak knives to old people. Old people go through a weird amount of steak knives. I also sold straight meat over the telephone.
- I don’t really write jokes down. I tend to have a premise that I work out and test on stage.
- I don’t want any competition; I’ve finally made it! I don’t want any young bucks knocking me off and taking my job, so stay in school! Stay in school and get a nice job working in an office!
- I like Louis C.K., Chris Rock. Old schools like Richard Pryor and Eddie Murphy.
- I like the guys who wrote their own stuff and were able to perform it, like Seth Rogen. He popped off so young. When he did ‘The 40-Year-Old Virgin,’ and he was a co-producer on the movie, I was like, ‘Oh my God: that’s exactly what I want to do.’
- I loved Adam Sandler’s early stuff. I thought it was so cool how irreverent and weird he would get.
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